Loss & Grief

For some grief comes in stages or a cycle but everyone experiences it differently.

Grief can feel like sadness, depression, shock, denial, disbelief, numbness, body pains, confusion, anger, hostility, relief, feeling overwhelmed or a mixture of feelings.

Going through Grief


Grief can affect each and everyone of us in a different way. It may cause us to become isolated while reflecting on memories from the past.  You may feel numb, but the shock provides emotional protection from feeling overwhelmed. You may feel frozen as the shock takes over.

You may go into a panic as you sense a change of identity, or you may feel anger and hostility and perhaps want someone to blame so you can make sense of what has happened. Or you may feel relief; for instance, your loved one has suffered for some time, perhaps after a long illness.  Or maybe you had a problematic relationship with the person and have mixed and confused feelings. These are just a few examples of how grief can affect us.

The five stages of grief


These may not be in the correct order for you; some may overlap, and you may move back and forth from one stage to another; everyone deals with grief very differently.



Shock, disbelief, can’t be true



Frustration, blaming, it’s not fair



Guilt, what could of been done differently



Tired, hopeless feelings, isolated, loss of perspective



Final Stage

Physical feelings caused by grief

  • Your heart may literally ache
  • Stomach clenches – tightens
  • Panic attacks
  • Overactive brain – overthinking mindset
  • Exhaustion, lack of energy
  • Tension – aches and pains
  • Difficulty sleeping, lack of concentration
  • Loss of appetite
  • Fainting, collapsing
  • Headaches, migraines
  • Cold shivers, a chill

Complicated Grief

The grieving process can take time, even a lifetime.

Looking out for symptoms of complicated grief:

  • Look out for continued disbelief that a loved one has died or continued emotional numbness over the loss.
  • Being pre-occupied with how a loved one died
  • Intense sorrow or emotional pain, and possibly feeling bitter and angry
  • Unable to enjoy good memories
  • Wishing to die with them, blaming oneself for the death
  • Excessively avoiding reminders of the loss and continuing to yearn for them


  • Feeling alone, detached from others, feeling mistrustful
  • Trouble in pursuing your interests or planning for the future
  • Feeling a loss of identity, or feeling you have no purpose in life, feeling like a part of you has died
  • Trouble carrying on a regular routine, depression, deep sadness or guilt.

If you feel like you need to talk to someone, I can help by listening and then working with you to release the emotional pain and find purpose to enjoy life again.

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